The medication Equation

medications

A lot of people get really concerned when I say I am going off my medications.  These people obviously do not understand my medications and what they do for and to me.  Most of the people swear that I do so much better on my meds than off of them but surprisingly enough when I ask them if I am off or on my meds they answer wrong thinking that when i am having a good day I am on them and when i am melting down I have to be off them right?  In truth, the last time I was sent to the hospital I had been taking them regularly and this past week when I dealt really well with some really tough issues I was actually off one of them.  Here is a run down of what I am on, what side effects they cause in me and how well I feel they do with the problem they are designed to treat: (this is not a list of all the medications I am on just the psych meds

Abilify is classes as an anti psychotic drug and is given as an add on to an anti depressant that may not be working well on it’s own.

I was given Abilify 6 months ago when I was released from the psychiatric hospital and still not doing well.   To be totally honest it saved my life and I felt like it was a miracle drug at the time. so why do I want to go off it now?  The main reason is that I don’t feel that I need it right now and if I do get to the point where I feel that I need it I will evaluate it at that time.

Side effects that have effected my life in a big way:

weight gain (increased appetite)

dizziness, light headedness

extreme fatigue

sleep problems (insomnia).

The dizziness is the worst for me, it makes it hard for me to work, drive and function, I don’t like that I am hungry all the time or that I have been gaining weight but if the drug was doing me good I would sacrifice that to feel better but I really believe that I do just as well on it as I do off of it

Celexa is an antidepressant medication that I have been on for several years now.

Side effects:

Drowsiness

weight gain

Dizziness

headache

nausea

The headaches, nausea and dizziness are the side effects that effect me the most but I really feel that this medication helps with the depression and I am determined to stay on it for that reason.  The dizziness is not as bad when i am not taking the Abilify but when I am taking both meds it is really bad

Wellbutrin  is an anti depressant med that I was on until I went on the Abilify but it has a drug interaction with the Abilify so I went off it but am considering going back on it

Side effects that I have noticed

nausea

insomnia

anxiety

it also causes weight loss which is good.

Another side effect I am having but I am not sure which med or maybe it’s a combination of meds, is that I feel really itchy.  It’s not a horrible side effect but it does keep me up at night sometimes and it’s hard to drive when I itch all over.

I don’t pretend to know more than the doctors know about medicine but I do know more about my body than anyone else including the doctors.  I know what works and what doesn’t.  I don’t go off pills lightly or without really thinking about it first and I definitely don’t go off medication to piss others off.

I have been on a lot of medications at one time before.  I have been on medications to take away the side effects of medications and even medications to take away side effects of the ones that were taking care of side effects.

I feel I have been a guinea pig for far too long and I just want to feel better.  Most people who are critical and judgmental of me for being on or off meds just want me to act differently and don’t care how I feel but I want to feel better and if the drugs don’t make me feel better than why waste the money on them?

I’m just hoping that my true friends will be my friends regardless of what medications I may or may not be taking and how many bad days I might have because of being on or off of said medications.

spoonful of medicine