Today was a super hard day. Some things happened at work that caused a great deal of anxiety and stress inside of me. I went to the Temple for ward temple night and I was still very anxious and worked up over the events of the day. Someone was there that triggered more anxiety and stress inside of me and by the time the session started, I was in tears.
I remember praying for something that I have prayed for many times before. I prayed that I could die in my sleep tonight. I have heard that there is not pain or sickness or fatigue in the next life and with as stressful as things get for me, I really long for a world like that. I felt so alone even in that crowded room and I couldn’t get the tears to stop.
What happened next was nothing more than a Tender Mercy. As son as my prayer was done, I didn’t feel alone anymore, I felt someone’s hand in mine and someone drying my tears. I didn’t feel like dying I just felt an overwhelming sense of peace.
I was told in a blessing about a month or so ago that if I study my scriptures daily, I will be cured of my mental illness; I haven’t been as good at it as I’d like to be but it gives me hope that if and when I do master that, I won’t have to feel like this anymore.
Here are some spots to end my day with.
Perfection is a myth
drop the danger and the symptoms will go away.
I can forgive myself and let go of the judgement.
An experience, no matter how mild, is always more intense than a recollection, no matter how severe.
Our Purpose Is To Have Peace
Tempers are frequently uncontrolled, but not uncontrollable.
…nervous fear is the fear of discomfort.
– identifying a disturbing feeling, sensation, thought or impulse, previously unseen, then applying the right Recovery tools.
We suffer from high suggestibility, where the first thought that is accepted is one of insecurity.
Choose peace over power. Don’t go for the “symbolic victory”!
When God fives me trials
that are so hard
I no longer want to try
I need to remember
to never question why
I need to get on my knees and pray
and thank Heavenly Father
for my blessings this day!