Ramblings

I yelled at my Bishop today.  I told him that I was mad at him and that he didn’t understand me or try to understand me and you know what he did?  He said to come see him on Tuesday so he could get to know and understand me better.  He also said he would help me learn to lead music since that is my calling and I hate it because I don’t know how to do it.

I am kind of mad at myself now for doing that.  I don’t want him to get to know me or understand me it’s just that we won’t ever ask me to speak in church or call me to a calling where I can teach like in Primary or Relief Society and he said its because he doesn’t want to stress me out but speaking and teaching doesn’t stress me out.  Leading music does.  I don’t know anything about music, I can’t read music and I am tone deaf but I know how to talk and teach and those don’t stress me out like music does.

I think I actually made things worse for myself by talking to him about it.  I wish Bishop Wyatt was still my Bishop.  He loved me, the Bishop I have now doesn’t.  I don’t think Allen Wyatt, the man loves me but Bishop Wyatt when he was Bishop did.

I think I’m just stressed out because I have to be in charge at work tomorrow and there are things I need to do there that I am not sure how to do it nor do I think My co-workers will respond to me as their boss.

I shouldn’t have taken out my stress on the poor Bishop.  I still wish I had a Bishop who loved me like I used to.