New changes, new insecurities

changes ahead

About six months ago, I started driving the van for work.  At first it was hard, especially since I have no sense of direction whatsoever.  After driving it everyday, I learned it well enough to not need my GPS but the other day I was asked to drive a new route.  Instead of driving the South transport van I will now go North.  I rode it with the girl who currently drives it so that she could train me and I came home so anxious and at the verge of tears that i am not sure this is going to be a good things for me.

The pros are that I pick up the van at the Orem office 5 minutes from my home so it will save gas and help motivate me to exercise ( I can walk or ride my bike)

I know I will eventually learn it but I am worried about how long that will take and in the meantime if I can get everyone picked up and dropped off at the times they need to be picked up and dropped off.  I also worry because I don’t have a driving partner now.  That is a double edge sword because she was annoying and drove me nuts but at the same time she helped me figure out where I was going and helped me do head checks and helped with safety issues.

The anxiety had been super bad today and even now that I am home I can’t calm myself down.  I hope things will work out but I can’t stop worrying about it

insecurities are loud