There is a woman I know named Ana who is an Avon lady and gives me an Avon catalog every time she sees me which is weekly. The first time I met her was right before my birthday when I was anticipating getting some money for my birthday from my mom and mother in law. I went ahead and ordered from her and was then able to use the money I received from my birthday to pay for it. Then I saw a really cute blouse in the catalog and debated buying it because I was out of money by then. But I mentioned to her that I liked it and she not understanding (she speaks mostly Spanish and broken English) ordered it for me.
On Saturday I got a call a call from Ana saying that my blouse had come in, but the price she quoted me was much higher than the price I thought the blouse really was. I found out later that it was my mistake, not Ana’s and that I had read the catalog wrong, looking at the price of something else on the same page. However, being the kind person that Ana is she charged me the price that I thought the blouse was instead of the real price. I offered for her to send it back but she said it was her cost and that she wasn’t out anything she was just breaking even.
So why then, do I feel so anxious about this? Actually I have anxiety about several things today. The blouse (shown above) as well as two other things:
The first one is that My boss needed someone to stay home today because we are low on clients this week so I told her that I wasn’t feeling well and I’d be willing to stay home if I could use my sick leave. She agreed and I am here but now I feel a bit guilty and a lot anxious that I am home from work being unproductive when I am not really sick enough to justify staying home or using sick leave.
The other thing is school. My husband wants me to go back to school and I know I probably should and I am supposed to be looking into that today but it stresses me out to think about working full time, being a mom and going to school. I haven’t been to school in a long time. I am not sure I have what it takes to keep up with the assignments, keep my grades up and stay focused and still fulfill all that is required of me in my job
and at home.
I have spent some time today looking into college and I think I have figured out what I want to do. The course I want to take should only take me 12-18 months to get through and should greatly improve my income earning ability. However, it still makes me nervous and I wonder if I can actually do it and do it well?
So I have already established in other posts that I am a worrier and prone to great bouts of anxiety. Today just happens to be a high anxiety day for me. I am not sure exactly how to handle the anxiety and get myself to calm down and feel ok about it. On a positive note: I did exercise, read scriptures and do some house work.