I just posted about my voices or demons as I have referred to them in the past, Now I wanted to talk about my angels.
The thing about my mental illness is that of all the bad things that come with it, there are some good things that god has sent to help me endure and one of those things is angels. I see and hear and feel their presence in my life at times when I need them the most.
One of my angels is my grandmother who has passed away but visits and strengthens me from time to time. I have other heavenly angels that appear to me and comfort me when I need it most but today I want to focus on the earthly angels that God has sent me and especially on the ones that came into my life today, I will call them my Mother’s day angels.
Today was a bad day, I woke up with voices in my head telling me things that were frightening and depressing. I wasn’t going to go to church because I knew deep down that I wasn’t handling the voices very well and I didn’t want to go to church feeling that way.
However, as things progressed, I ended up making the bad decision to go ahead and try going to Sacrament Meeting. I was crying, and hurting myself and feeling especially vulnerable when I walked in to the chapel and that is when my earthly angels appeared and took action.
First there was Debbie, who had been talking to me on face book before church and knew that I was struggling. I don’t think she realized how much I was struggling until I appeared in church with scratched up arms and a tear stained face.
Debbie is one of my longest endearing human angels. She has been with me through a lot and I am grateful to her for that. I really tested her today though, I put her through hell and back just in the half hour or so that I spent with her in that chapel.
I am grateful she didn’t give up on me and that she let me sit by her and hold her hand even though the voices in my head told me that she didn’t care about me. She did what she could to help me through the meeting until I finally left early to go home with another of my angels whom I will speak of later and that is my husband Kim.
Debbie’s Husband, Allen (My former Bishop) was another of those angels that was there for me today. He took the time to text with me for a few minutes after I left the meeting and his texts calmed me down and made me feel like he really cares about me.
My home teacher, Frank was another Angel whom I would like to mention in this. After church, he brought me Dr Pepper and chocolate and the mother’s day flowers I wasn’t able to pick up because I left the meeting early. he showed up at my door with the goodies and a hug and I realized that I have a lot of people who care about me.
My mother called me and talked to me and I realized how much of an angel she has been since I was born. I am so glad to have her and her love in my life.
My daughter came in to my room after church and talked to me and hugged me and I realized that she too is an important angel in my life, one I would never want to be without.
The last and certainly best and most important of my earthly angels is my husband Kim. I always feel bad about what I put him through and I realize how stressful it must be for him to have to live with me and my illness.
He took me home, let me text on his phone to my angel Allen then drew me a bath and helped me in it to relax and wash my scratches then he held me and talked to me in sweet tones while I fell asleep next to him.
I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for the Angels he sent to me. The ones I mentioned are only a small portion of all the angels in my life