Just let me cry

I feel like crying today.  I am home sick from work but feeling physically better than I did yesterday.  I am doing some things at work now which are hard for me to do and cause stress in my life and I feel guilty about staying home today even though I have the flu.crying woman

I don’t need anyone to comfort me or to tell me not to cry.  I just need to cry and let it out.  It doesn’t mean I don’t have faith in happier days ahead it just means that for today, I need to cry.

I don’t like driving and in my job, I have to drive.  Not only do I have to drive but I have to drive a big van and pick people up and take them to the day center and then drop them back off at home after. It is difficult for me to do this and not feel anxiety while I am doing it but it’s something that will hopefully make me stronger in the long run.  So far I have done ok with it but I feel almost paralyzed with fear when I think about doing it everyday

The stress has really gotten to me over the past few weeks and I finally feel like I need to just let it all out in order to keep going strong.  I don’t think strength means never crying I think strength means to keep going even when we feel like giving up and sometimes for me that means to take a time out to really “feel” to shed a few tears and let the emotions run their course so I can get back on the horse tomorrow.