Is happiness a choice?


I am constantly telling my children that they choose how they feel.  In light of this, I set a goal to choose to be in a good mood everyday and I failed.  I got up, I told myself I was going to have a good day and I thought of positive things and then things went downhill from there,  I really tried to be in a good mood.  I tried it yesterday and today.  I have been crying, fighting and feeling tired and miserable.

So have I been telling my kids the wrong thing?  Is it actually possible to choose how you feel?  Maybe it’s just me?  Maybe I’m not doing it right or maybe I am not sincere enough.  I have not felt happy for over a month now.  Yes, I take my pills, yes, I exercise.  I do my best to get enough sleep.  I am not happy.

I think about dying more than I should.  I am not interested in doing things that used to make me happy.  I feel run down and tired all the time.  The Church teaches that living the gospel makes you happy.  Am I not living it well enough?  Is there something I am doing that is against the gospel teachings?

I always believed that ultimately it is us that chooses how we feel, how we react to things and whether or not we are happy.  I am not saying I suddenly disbelieve this, I am just saying that obviously I don’t know how to choose it because it is not working for me.

I guess what I am wondering is if there is anyone out there who can teach me how to choose to be happy?  I am failing miserably at it