I am constantly telling my children that they choose how they feel. In light of this, I set a goal to choose to be in a good mood everyday and I failed. I got up, I told myself I was going to have a good day and I thought of positive things and then things went downhill from there, I really tried to be in a good mood. I tried it yesterday and today. I have been crying, fighting and feeling tired and miserable.
So have I been telling my kids the wrong thing? Is it actually possible to choose how you feel? Maybe it’s just me? Maybe I’m not doing it right or maybe I am not sincere enough. I have not felt happy for over a month now. Yes, I take my pills, yes, I exercise. I do my best to get enough sleep. I am not happy.
I think about dying more than I should. I am not interested in doing things that used to make me happy. I feel run down and tired all the time. The Church teaches that living the gospel makes you happy. Am I not living it well enough? Is there something I am doing that is against the gospel teachings?
I always believed that ultimately it is us that chooses how we feel, how we react to things and whether or not we are happy. I am not saying I suddenly disbelieve this, I am just saying that obviously I don’t know how to choose it because it is not working for me.
I guess what I am wondering is if there is anyone out there who can teach me how to choose to be happy? I am failing miserably at it