I have had some interesting experiences over the past week that have me wondering how I actually appear to other people. The first one was at work. I was in the dinging room getting lunch ready for my clients when one of the office staff came in and asked, “Do you have a headache? If so I have Tylenol in my office.” The next came at school when I was sitting there doing my work and someone said “what’s wrong? Do you need some Ibuprofen?” and the third came yesterday at a family reunion at my sister in law’s house in Blackfoot Idaho. I was sitting on the
couch in her living room, thumbing through a catalog when she walked in and asked “Do you need some Excedrin?, I have some.”
In none of these cases did I have a headache or feel sick or bad in anyway and yet I was just randomly offered drugs by random people. So I started to wonder how I appear to others and what it is that they see that makes them think I am not feeling well.
I also started wondering what people saw in me in other instances in my life as well. Can they see my lack of self confidence or my worry about doing things well? Do they see what a struggle like is for me or how much I have changed and grown over the past several years? I realize it is more important how a person see himself than how others see him but I still wonder what other people see and if they actually see me for who I really am.
I don’t know what to do to help get people to stop seeing me as not feeling well and offering me drugs but I do think that if I keep improving and developing more self confidence and calmness, that eventually I can convey that when others see me. My goal is to have who I really am and the person others view me as be the same person.