Even though I haven’t really had a problem with it for a month or so. I sometimes experience times of deep anger in my life. Anger is a secondary emotion usually used to cover up an emotion that is more painful like fear or rejection. Anger allows us to believe we are in control of the situation when other emotions make us feel out of control. Although most of the time we are controlled by our anger rather than us controlling it. Anger in and of itself is not really the issue. We all feel and it and we will continue to feel it what the real issues is what we do with that anger.
Today my niece Natasha was sealed to her husband Jordan and i was able to attend that sealing along with my husband and eldest son. The sealer in the Temple used the phrase “Always use a soft voice” frequently as he counseled with couple on relationships with each other and future children.
I realized that using a soft voice when I am feeling angry is something I have a problem remembering to do. Especially when my youngest son is yelling at or losing his temper with me. I also realized that in relationships with certain friends, I become angry when I feel like they are rejecting me or in some criticizing me and as I analyzed it more I realized that it was a cover up for emotions that were too painful to let myself feel.
When I start getting upset, I find that if I sit down and identify what I am feeling and what the situation is that caused those initial feelings, I can almost always talk myself down from feeling that way and then I am able to deal with the situation more rationally, like using a soft voice.
The problem is that I don’t always take the time to work through the problem, I tend to just react.
For the year of 2014 I have chosen two resolutions I would like to work on; The first is losing 50 lbs and the second is making sure that when I feel myself getting worked up over something, I take the time to identify what I am feeling, why I am feeling that way and then spotting on how I can handle it in a way that I will not regret later.
I am going to use a soft voice and a soft heartwhen dealing with my anger.